Germany tried being alpha twice. Both times ended in genocide and rubble. So they made a choice - never again stand out, never again take risks, never again lead. Just work, follow rules, be Europe’s perfect middle manager.
The Ordnung Cult: “Ordnung muss sein” - order above all. Three recycling bins for plastic. Forms to hang pictures. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down. In German, that’s not a warning - it’s a virtue.
Merkel - The Skuf Chancellor: 16 years of “Mutti.” No charisma, no vision, just steady administration. Her greatest skill? Waiting. Let problems solve themselves or become someone else’s. Germans loved her for it - finally, a leader who wouldn’t drag them into anything uncomfortable.
The Strategic Castration: Shut down nuclear plants because feelings. Got hooked on Putin’s gas because cheap. Now watching Chinese EVs eat their lunch while debating bike lanes. Volkswagen dieselgate - cheat rather than innovate. Every choice picked comfortable narrative over hard reality.
The Pride in Grayness: “We’re not emotional like Italians, not arrogant like French.” Pride in having no edge. Pride in being boring. A nation that turned post-war trauma into permanent risk-aversion and calls it enlightenment.
When did avoiding another Hitler become an excuse to avoid all leadership entirely?